The Most Annoying People You Meet In College

Looks more like the cast of Real World than a group of college kids.

College is supposed to be a place where you meet interesting people. These are the most irritating ones.

The Drunk Who Needs Babysitting

"S-so, should we write on him, or..."

The drunk can be male or female, and they're usually rather mild-mannered when sober. They start drinking and behavior can range from belligerent, to friendly, to amusing, to horny - but ALWAYS sloppy. This person can actually be very entertaining at first - then they keep drinking.

A night out with the lush ends up with them crying/vomiting/crying AND vomiting, being carried back to the dorms while they tell you about the time their beloved dog died, and then passing out. This has happened to most of us at some point, but what makes this person unique is this always happens to them. You would think that vomiting everything you've ever eaten would turn you off towards the idea of drinking so much, but that would make TOO much sense. Especially since they have you to take care of them each time.

The Guy No One Likes

He probably looks something like this guy.

He commits party fouls without shame, like breaking the table or spilling beer on the rug. He has an asinine sense of humor, and always manages to offend someone with his off-color humor. He uses slang way too much and probably has barbwire tattoos. He is also frequently seen urinating in the bushes. Everything about his personality is repulsive. He brags about things that he may or may not have done in high school - hard to believe you were a quarterback legend if your arms have the consistency of tube socks filled with Jell-O pudding.

"Yeah, just let myself go a little. You know how it is, bro."

Despite this, you and your actual friends hang out with him - because he's rich. Either he's the guy with the car/money/alcohol/drugs and provides them willingly. This is the ONLY redeeming thing about him. Should you feel bad about using him? Of course not - the guy's a dick.

The Old Guy

"I started school late...YAKNOWHADDAMEAN?!?"

He definitely has a BEARD. Maybe KIDS. Possibly a MORTGAGE. Not to be confused with continuing education students, those who were in the military before college, etc. - this guy went straight to college right after he graduated high school.

...in 1996.

"Beverly Anne took that Colored boy Earl to the prom that year."

If it weren't for the bookbag and jorts, you could easily mistake this guy for a professor. He definitely isn't a graduate student, since he's in your PRE-CALCULUS CLASS - or he... used to be? Who knows - you haven't seen him IN class since the last week of September. He's more likely to be found lounging about in the student union, outside of the library, or some other place of social gathering, recalling the good old days before it was considered strange that he was chasing freshman girls. On one hand he's a creep, but since the juniors and seniors don't hang out with him, a type of mutualism occurs between he and the underclassmen - he gets you alcohol in exchange for having someone to hang out with/introduce him to more girls. ("Now, Giselle is over 18 FOR SURE, right?")

"Born in 93... how old is that? Old enough."

Condescending Smart Girl

ALWAYS a woman. She graduated from Albert Einstein's Consortium for Space Technology, Alchemy and Logarithms with a 6.7 GPA, which doesn't even make sense to you because the highest you could possibly attain at YOUR slovenly public school was a 4.0. Pfft, dumbass.





She knows EVERYTHING.

"What? MEROZOITES reside in the liver, TROPHOZOITES reside in red blood cells. Moron."

She makes this clear because she's in all of your hard classes. She talks to the professor WAY too much during these classes. What makes her most annoying though, is that without fail, after every exam she asks to compare answers with you. EVERY TIME. The session usually goes something like this -

Girl: That test was CRAZY, wasn't it?

You: Yeah, seriously.

Girl: I wasn't sure of a lot of the answers - what did you get for 3?

You: Uh, I wasn't sure, but I marked D.

Girl: D? No, that's definitely not it. The answer was C.


You: Oh.


Girl: Yeah, the factorial of the vermiform appendix causes an inflation cardioid parabola, not biochemical metabolysis - you don't remember from class?

You: Uh...what?


She then proceeds to rip any answer you have, making you wonder why she would bother asking YOU of all people to compare answers in the first place. This was only done to boost her self-esteem, so she could go into the weekend feeling great and you go into the weekend feeling like it's time to switch majors.



I know I'm missing a few - who are the most annoying people from YOUR college experience? I may do a part 2 to this in the near future.