Diddy-Obama Blog...Diddy-Obama Blog...Diddy-Obama Blog...

Diddy is at it again.
In 2004 it was the Vote or Die t-shirts, which I'm sure Diddy turned in a nice profit from. Now his slogan is "Obama or Die", making his partisan stance obvious this time around. Apparently he has a vlog in which he drops "knowledge" about the the presidential election. In this latest entry, he discusses his disapproval of Senator John McCain's choice of Vice President in Sarah Palin. Watching this video makes me wonder about a lot of things. First of all, how seriously can you take P. Diddy anymore? I also can't help but think the Democratic Party are using Obama as a sort of puppet leader because he's able to get the Black vote. I mean, people are complaining about how Sarah Palin was chosen only as a cheap ruse to attract female voters; but it's also possible that he is the Democratic nominee for similar reasons? Another question is, how much these hip hop rants (see: Ludacris) are helping or hurting the election as a whole? But my main question is, "Alaska mothaf*cka?!?"

*disclaimer: there ARE Black people in Alaska, my cousin was spinning hip-hop records in Anchorage for a few years.
*disclaimer: There probably wasn't a need for the first disclaimer, as no one calls himself "Ciroc Obama" should be taken seriously anyway.


Currently listening to:
"Lapdance" from
In Search of...
N.E.R.D.

The Name's Cinco. Ocho Cinco.

It's official.

Adding on to his long history of controversy, the wide receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson has legally changed his last name. This will presumably force the NFL to allow him to wear a jersey with "Ocho Cinco" on the back.  In 2006 Chad was fined $5,000 for placing a velcro nameplate with his (self-given) nickname over his usual "C. Johnson," which was eventually ripped off by QB Carson Palmer during a game against the Atlanta Falcons.  The nickname was, according to Mr. Cinco, created in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month, despite the fact that the number eighty-five correctly translates to "ochenta y cinco", not "ocho cinco" (eight-five).  Some people may see it as ignorant, but I think it's a clever marketing ploy; Ocho Cinco jerseys would fly off of the shelves, entitling Cinco to a nice little bonus on top of his contract.  I'm sure Roger Goodell is getting a kick out of this.

Star Fox 64 Quotes gone wrong

I, like approximately 15% of the population (comparable to the 86.1% of people who make up statistics for their own purposes) use quotes from the classic video game in my regular life. Although this will get an occasional laugh from people as cool as I am, SF64 quotes are not always appropriate. Presenting "Star Fox Quotes to Avoid During Sex."




"You're becoming more like your father."

"Geez Laweez! What is THAT?!?"

"This is horrible."
"This can't be happening!"
"Don't go dying on me!"
"I'll go it alone from here."

Crouching Tiger, Desperate Housewives or: Why 2009 will be a horrible year for cinema

I know my MS Paint skills are on point, so it's hard to tell this is fake.
According to Wikipedia (and confirmed on IMDB) 2009 is actually the Year of the Box Office Bomb. It seems as if Hollywood just plain ran out of ideas, and just decided to stick with these two mantras;

a) "Let's make a sequel...that's right...ANOTHER SEQUEL."
b) "Let's make a movie adaptation of something really old, or obscure, and just hope people come to see it."

...I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the worst movies in recent history will debut in '09, but these will probably be at the top (or bottom) of that list.

1) Fast and Furious. I actually haven't seen any of these, but when the first one came out, I
figured that America's obsession with fast would have died out with the sequel, 2 Fast 2 Furious. But, lo and behold, six years later another variation of the words "fast" and "furious" will be released on film. My general rule of thumb is that any movie starring Paul Walker already has two strikes against it, but the fact that it's the fourth installment doesn't help, either... Still, look forward to Fast and Furious: Double Dash! starring Tyrese Gibson, and John Leguizamo as Luigi.

2) Dragonball. There are two (major) things wrong with this movie; first, it's about 10 years overdue...the actual Dragon Ball series goes back to the late 80's in Japan, and crossed over to the US around 1995. Since then, Dragon Ball spurned Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, and probably a bunch of other manifestations that I don't watch. Second, it's live-action; anyone who has seen the show knows how ridiculous a live action movie would be; for those of you who haven't, planets get destroyed, people transform into giant ape creatures, and there's a flying cat...Good luck to whoever will be inevitably fired for green-lighting this.

3) Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. Do you remember the original Street Fighter movie? (not the anime) If you don't, good; if you do...enough said. Apparently Jean Claude Van Damme even turned down a part because he's more careful in choosing his roles...whatever that means doesn't bode well for this movie.

Honorable Mention: Crank 2: Electric Boogaloo...not the actual name, but it might as well be. I thought Stratham died in the first one anyway (spoiler alert).

To be fair, there are some potentially good movies for 2009. Obviously, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince won't disappoint, and apparently Watchmen will be good; I personally thought the trailer sucked, but since it's based on the best graphic novel ever (appeared in Time magazine's best English-language novels) I'll probably give it a chance. But looking over this list again, I'm starting to wish Crouching Tiger, Desperate Housewives was real.

I Can Rap Like Lil' Wayne

...I mean it. After careful analysis of his lyrics (hearing a few songs) I've noticed some things that, I feel, are crucial to your success as the greatest rapper alive.

1. Use allusions to genitalia or STD's as frequently as you can in your similes and metaphors. Crude = Good.

"I keep p*ssy running like a faucet."

"I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed."

"Swagger tighter than a yeast infection."

"My flow is nasty, like C Y Phillis."

That last one segues nicely into my next tip, which actually

has two parts.

2a. Pronounce/spell words however the hell you want. This

helps out tremendously if you have a non-existent rhyme scheme...

"Young Carter, darlin', understand I am Michael Jardin Barlin."

2b. After you make your mistake, you can always correct it yourself. This makes you look smart.

"I am so far from the o-tharrs - i meant others."

"Feet up, like parapalegia- or paraplegic."

3. Make fun of disabled or handicapped people. They don't matter.

"I have no brain, I'm retarded."
"...she tell her blind bitch, and she say 'I gotta see.'"

"I'm spittin' like a retard."

"I'm insane, I need a shrink."

4. Talk about how different you are from everyone else.
"My world is different, like Dwayne Wayne."
"We are not the same, I am a Martian."
"I'm so far ahead of these suckers, I'm a have to start rappin' in numbers."

5. Lastly, reassure people of your own homophobia, by using slightly homoerotic lines and

saying "no homo"...
"No homo." (Beginning of Lollipop)
"Feed me, feed me, feed me!!! No homo."
"I got money out the ass, no homo."

...then confuse your fans by also saying blatantly gay things, and NOT saying "no homo."
"Damn right, I kissed my daddy."
"You don't like it? N*gga f*ck you no vaseline."
"I got a b*tch with a mouth like that boy Ken Griffey."

Optional: Laugh at the absurdity of your raps, in the middle of your line, if necessary; 

people will call it "swag," and then you will cement your status as the best rapper ever.

"Tell them coppers HAHAHAHA you can't catch him you can't stop him."

Add a Syrup-induced drawl that makes it impossible for people to understand what you say, 

and the next time someone mentions BIG, Pac or Jay-Z...I think you know the rest.